False smiles

Looking in the

mirror,

I feel a pain wash

through me.

 I feel a hate

for myself I've
never felt for
any other.
 I hate every-
thing I see, yet I
can't stop staring,
felling the hate
rising in me.
 Instead of
letting that hate out.
 I leave it, leave
it to grow and grow.
 Soemtimes a little
of the hate goes away...
 But only if I do
something I know
I shouldn't but I need to.
 It goes away
when I take out
my razor, and I slice,
seeing the blood pour,
drip.
 It went away
when I got the
stud shoved
through my lip.
It took peoples
eyes away from
my face, my uglyness,
my hate.
 It goes away
when I sneak
around with him.
 I know all the
things I do are
wrong, but when
I do them it lessens
my hate,
even though later
it comes back, worse,

it haunts me.

Showing the bad

person I am.

 Looking in the mirror,

tears fall from my eyes.

 I walk away from the

mirror, and place a

smile upon my face,

getting ready to act

my way

through another day.

 Getting ready to pretend.